


Baby Doom

by Artzenin



Category: Gotham Girls
Genre: Babysitting, Crime, Criminal Mischief, DC comics - Freeform, Drama, Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-05-05
Updated: 2008-05-05
Packaged: 2019-06-12 01:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artzenin/pseuds/Artzenin
Summary: [One shot] If Harley accidentally got into Ivy's shrink powder and became a baby at the Wax Museum, what would happen if the duration time went on longer than Ivy anticipated? And what would happen to her, if she was so desperate to find a cure, she'd go out and ask unlikely people to help her babysit Harley until she came up with a solution? What does that equal? Pure. Chaos.





	1. Episode 1: You're Kidding, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this particular series was adorable and the girls were all great, especially Harley. But I got to thinking, wouldn't it be a shame if the pollen dust didn't respond the way it was supposed to? I watched Baby Boom many times and realized there was a lot I could play with, as well as mess with Ivy's sanity. So here's my one shot continuation of that clip from Gotham Girls. If you have not seen this series, don't fear, the story will back track for those who have no idea what I'm talking about. If you're desperate enough to watch it, YouTube it. It's the quickest way for me. Just be sure to type in "Gotham Girls Baby Boom" and see what pops up. --Artzenin

Ivy couldn't understand it. Harley should have returned to her original state hours ago! Many questions ran through Ivy's weary mind but no matter what theory Ivy conducted, she found no answers. All Ivy could do now was wait, which was easier said than done. Harley was a hand full as a full grown woman-a huge handful. There were times Ivy wondered why she allowed the clown to tag along on mission, live with her, share her bed, etc. Deep down, Ivy knew why she continued to put up with Harley. However, Ivy would never admit that truth to Harley or to herself for that matter.

"Pudd'n!"

Baby Harley did not calmly say, but scream! Putting her hands over her ears, Ivy fought back the urge to scream herself.

"Harley."

Huffed the frantic plant woman.

"I told you before, I can't get your "Pudd'n". He's in jail! You know, the bad place?"

Hearing this only made Harley cry louder. Unable to stand it, Ivy did what any other parent in Gotham would do when their child became uncontrollable...

 

* * *

 

"You want me to do what?!"

Catwoman exclaimed over the phone, clearly insulted that she was being asked to help aid Ivy babysit over stealing a bucket load of jewels from one of Gotham's museums. It wasn't like she left yet. Catwoman was still in the process of getting ready for her hunt when she got a phone call from Poison Ivy, of all people. Just in case Ivy or Harley needed her assistance in something, she gave them her phone number. Ironically, the duo rarely called her up and normally when they did require Catwoman's presence, Catwoman's schedule was open so she could do it. The fact that Ivy gave her a ring the very second she was heading out for the night vexed Catwoman.

_Why tonight, of all nights did she choose to call?_

Catwoman thought bitterly, sub-consciously increasing her grip around the portable phone.

"Please? Catwoman, I don't know what to do. I've fed her, I've burped her, hell I even sang nursery rhythms, nothing is working, my nerves are shot and I am this close from making her shut up for good!"

That got Catwoman's attention.

"Now, now Ivy. Surely she's not that bad?"

Ivy almost cried right there.

"Catwoman I'm calling you, fully knowing you might have been busy... it's bad, okay? God as my witness, I'm telling you, I'll gag her with my plants if she says his name one more time..."

Just then, Catwoman pulled the phone away from her ear hearing a loud "Pudd'n!" being said in the background. It wasn't too much longer before she heard Ivy's voice rise in anger.

"That does it! I'm going to turn  _you_  into pudding! Oooh don't you give me that kind of attitude you no good for nothing, ungrateful, accident prone, brat!"

Catwoman closed her eyes in defeat and reluctantly mumbled into the phone,

"Don't kill her Ivy. Give me ten minutes, all right?"

Ivy sighed, her grateful for Catwoman's cooperation.

 

* * *

**_10 minutes later at Ivy's apartment..._ **

* * *

 

Catwoman took a step back from the fuming baby dressed in red and black clothing, shocked at the power behind each wail. Who would of thought Harley Quinn could make so much noise?

"My goodness!"

Catwoman exclaimed, rather disturbed at how the child was acting, despite her attempts to make her happy.

"This is why I called you... now do you see why I want to get a Venus Fly Trap and toss her in it?"

Barked Ivy, standing beside Catwoman with her hands still pressed hard against her ears. Catwoman began to say something but Harley started to call out for the Joker again.

"Pudd'n! Pudd'n!"

Ivy removed one hand from her ear to gesture at the sobbing child.

"See? That's all she wants... I don't know what to do with her, she's driving me crazy!"

Ivy's left eye twitched. Catwoman only needed to see Ivy's grin to know she was starting to loose her grip.

"Oh I know. I'll dissect her lungs, chop off her arms and legs and cook her remains for one of my babies in the basement..."

Catwoman turned to Ivy, took her by the shoulders and gave her a firm shake.

"Ivy stop it. Find your happy place."

Ivy glanced up, studying the cracked ceiling for a moment.

"You know I treasure plants and would sooner chose them over people. Plants without a doubt, are my happy place."

Catwoman frowned then grimaced seeing nerve veins form above Ivy's right eyebrow, neck and in her jaw line.

"While I was on the phone with you she somehow managed to get out of her prison while I wasn't looking and took the liberty of seeing what kind of creations the plants could make together."

"In other words-"

Catwoman began but got cut off Ivy's sudden outburst.

"She destroyed them. Every. Singe. One of them. My precious plants are gone!"

Without warning Ivy broke out of Catwoman's hold and lunged at Harley, who was still crying and going on about Joker. Thankfully, Catwoman was quicker. In a blink of an eye, Catwoman wrapped slim, muscular arms around Ivy's waist, struggling to restrain her.

"Calm down Ivy, she's not her usual self. Harley knows how much you love plants. Surely even you understand the reasoning of a infants mind verses an adults?"

Ivy went limp in Catwoman's arms, embarrassed at her actions.

"You're right Catwoman. It's not Harley's fault. Wait a second!"

Ivy attempted a second jump at Harley but Catwoman's reflexes prevented her from doing so once again.

"It's completely her fault! If she hadn't sniffed the pollen dust none of this would have happened!"

Catwoman increased her hold around Ivy.

"Ivy for Maker's sake, snap out of it! There has to be a easier way around this."

Catwoman paused, considering their options.

"If she wants the Joker, then let's give him to her."

Ivy twisted around in Catwoman's arms, peering closely into the eyes behind the masked face.

"How? There's no way I'm going to turn myself in just so Harley can see that freak of nature."

Catwoman grinned at the green woman.

"I didn't say anything about going to Arkam, now did I?"

Ivy didn't quite understand where Catwoman was headed, but she placed her trust in the older woman's judgment. Just then, Harley screamed at the top of her lungs, making both thieves cringe deeply.

"I'll be back."

Catwoman muttered, letting Ivy go. Ivy stepped off to the side so Catwoman could preform a graceful front leap towards one of the windows. Ivy watched her friend leave before turning around to face the unhappy toddler on the floor.

"All right, all right. I'm coming Harley."

Ivy sighed, slumping listlessly over to the screeching clown.

 

* * *

 

Zatanna stepped outside into the night's crisp air, looking over her shoulder into the open door frame.

"Night Rick. See you in a month."

"Aww, we sure will miss ya' Z. But you and I both know you need a vacation."

"I hear you there. I'll be sure to bring you guys back a souvenir."

The sorceress promised, closing the door softly behind her. Zatanna was glad to know that once she got home she could make plans for her well earned vacation.

"I wonder what Lulu's doing right now? Maybe I could drop by and see her before I head out to Jamaica."

Zatanna wondered out loud, pondering if she should go make a quick house call to see how her rival was fairing. As Zatanna ventured down the steps of the theater house, she felt eyes watching her every move. This bothered Zatanna. For once she'd like to leave work without a stalker waiting for her in the shadows.

"Whoever you are, come on out. It won't do you any good to hide unless you desire to be found and to be frank, you won't like it if I have to find you."

Catwoman sauntered causally out of the darkness and up beside the sorceress, offering her a friendly smile. Zatanna jumped back, taken by surprise. Out of habit, she withdrew her wand.

"Catwoman?"

Catwoman's smile grew hearing her name.

"Hey. Long time no see."

Zatanna frowned, deciding to take the offensive. Seeing her wand starting to glow Catwoman raised her hands in defense, shaking them frantically in front of her.

"Wait, wait. I'm not here to raise hell. I honestly was wondering if you could you spare a minute?"

Sighing, Zatanna canceled out her magic spell. She wasn't so heartless she wouldn't listen to her. They were somewhat friends in spite of the roles they played in Gotham's society.

"All right Selina, but if this another one of your tricks-"

"I need your help with something. No strings attached. I just need you to do me a favor and no, it's not anything illegal."

Catwoman explained, gesturing with her hands to express her point. Zatanna arched an skeptical eyebrow, not completely motivated to accept Catwoman's proposal.

"All right."

Zatanna lightly remarked, folding her arms defensively.

"I'll grant you some of my time. But the second I suspect anything, I'm zapping you straight to Arkam, got it?"

"Sure thing. Follow me, won't you?"

Zatanna watched Catwoman jump up onto one of the metal staircases that connected to a older apartment building. Obviously, she expected Zatanna to follow her lead.

"This better be worth it."

Zatanna muttered, using a little bit of her magic on herself so she could jump at the same speed as Catwoman.

 

* * *

**_15 minutes later at Ivy's apartment..._ **

* * *

 

"Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln! All of this just because Harley sniffed some pollen dust?"

Zatanna stared at Harley, utterly bewildered at how fierce Harley was screaming for the Joker. Ivy held Harley up against the brim of her bare shoulder, pacing back and forth in front of the couch where Zatanna and Catwoman were sitting in shock, trying her best to calm the fuming child that was pounding angry fists on her chest.

"Look, just make a fake Joker and you can go."

Zatanna cautiously stood up, staring ahead at nothing.

"Hmm, in order to duplicate the real thing, I need the right materials. For example, a strand hair, skin tissue, a piece of clothing, a dummy doll... I need something physical to work with, otherwise a true duplication is useless."

Ivy was about to add her own say to the conversation but froze upon having her ear drums blown out. Harley was not a happy and her bitter attitude was only growing worse.

"We don't have materials. Just try duplicating him. If all else fails, I'll march down to the asylum and break in to get a sample myself. I'm desperate enough to do it too!"

Catwoman barked, hopping to her feet as she threw her arms up in vexation. Honestly, Zatanna felt bad for both Ivy and Catwoman. They truly were trying to do everything in their power to make Harley happy. The least she could do was try.

"All right, but I can't guarantee it will work."

Ivy passed Harley to Catwoman. Catwoman took her without complaint, fully knowing Ivy needed the break.

"I sure hope this works."

Mumbled Catwoman, cradling Harley close to her breast.

"So do I."

Ivy growled under her breath, taking a seat down on the couch in attempt to relax her sore muscles. Tipping her head back against the cushions, she rubbed tiredly at her temples and tried really hard to block out the screaming. Was there no end to Harley's ranting over that idiot?

"Pudd'n! Pudd'n!"

Harley roared, waving tiny fists around madly in objection. Sighing softly to herself, Zatanna gave her collar a light fluff then reached inside her vest to withdraw her wand.

"Oh powers invested in me, grant me my wish and send me the one who is strong enough to silence the storm within Harley's mouth and evil enough to create one without doubt!"

The gray smoke cloud that formed pleased the women very much. However, their joy soon turned to horror when the cloud dissolved. Zatanna, Catwoman and Ivy gasped in unison, shocked at what they saw. More so at  _who_  they saw. Standing right smack in the middle of the apartment were two people the trio recognized all too well.

"S-Supergirl!"

Zatanna stammered, embarrassed at the outcome of her spell. Not just that, but the mere fact of what the spell "duplicated" according to her wording.

"Livewire?"

Ivy whispered, thunderstruck at seeing the two women of Metropolis standing in her living room, bickering harshly at one another.

"Furthermore, stealing is a  _crime!_  I would think after beating you senseless last time you'd learn your lesson and-"

Supergirl went mute, suddenly aware of her new surroundings.

" _Why_  are we in Gotham?"

Supergirl's question seemed completely irrelevant to their current conversation until Livewire took a moment to look around for herself.

"Holy shi-"

Livewire cut herself off, noting the other occupants in the room. Since Supergirl was just as dazzled as she was, Livewire took the advantage and broke away, freeing herself from Supergirl's iron grip.

"What the what? Weren't we just outside the bank?"

Livewire glanced between Supergirl and the other women standing off to the side.

"What's going on here?"

She questioned Supergirl since she happened to be the first thing that came to Livewire's mind. She stood there, hands on her lean hips, expecting a logical explanation from the Kryptonian.

"Don't ask me, I dunno."

Supergirl muttered, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

"Hello ladies. Nice of you to join us."

Hearing the rich seductive voice of one of her arch foes, Supergirl's eyes widened. Craning her head around, she not only confronted Ivy, but Catwoman, a sobbing baby clown and a concerned Zatanna. Watching Supergirl raise her fists and bare angry teeth at them all, Ivy gestured at Supergirl to calm down with her hands. Just for kicks and giggles, Ivy smiled, playing it off like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Supergirl got ready to demand some answers when Harley screamed "Puud'n", making everyone go deaf for a good ten seconds. Livewire glanced at Harley, just now aware of her existence.

"Hey, it's Quinn... but why does she look like that?"

Livewire pointed to Harley, wanting to find the clowns predicament amusing but lacked the energy. After attempting a bank heist and having Supergirl foil her plans and being forced into combat, drained Livewire of the remaining desire to poke fun at anything at the moment. Rolling her eyes, Zatanna raised her hand, pitched the bridge of he nose in annoyance. Sighing loudly, she tucking her wand away with her free hand, not sure what she should do anymore. To let Catwoman slide under her nose was one thing . Allowing Ivy and Harley to run free was a serious no-no, but after witnessing first hand what Ivy had to deal with, she let them off the hook. But Livewire? One of Metropolis top 7 wanted criminals?

"This is ridiculous..."

Zatanna muttered, resting her hands on her hips, rather disgusted at how her vacation was starting off. Supergirl lowered her fists and let her hands relax. Obviously, something was up, otherwise Zatanna wouldn't be acting so care-free with so many felons in the room.

"Someone needs to explain to me what the heck is going on before I call every Justice League and Teen Titian member in the area to this place for obvious reasons."

Catwoman turned to Zatanna. Zatanna arched an eyebrow receiving Harley, astonished at the power behind the child's vocal cords.

"Allow me?"

Catwoman volunteered, striding over to the super teen. Although she didn't think keenly of Ivy, Livewire was more comfortable with Ivy over everyone else and therefore took a seat by her on the couch. It took Catwoman a while to explain everything in clear detail to Supergirl. However, once Supergirl got a solid understanding behind her popping up the way she did with Livewire, everything else made perfect sense.

"Okay, let me get this straight. This all started at the Wax Museum and because Harley inhaled the pollen dust, she's now a baby that should have returned to her original state, but she didn't."

Supergirl paused, pointing a finger at Catwoman.

"Ivy asked you to come help and you thought it would be a good idea to get Zatanna to summon a fake Joker, but we were summoned instead, is that right?"

Catwoman nodded.

"That's right."

Supergirl took a step back.

"So like, what now?"

Catwoman shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Catwoman replied dryly, looking over at the party gathered around Harley. Zatanna was currently moving Harley away from Livewire. Apparently, Harley had gotten curious about Livewire's pale skin and decided to take a bite.

"Ow! That punk just bit me! All I did was tickle her!"

Livewire hissed, glowering hatefully at Harley. Unaffected by Livewire's anger, Harley simply blew raspberry at her. Ivy rolled her eyes at this.

"I told you nothing makes her happy. It's useless to try."

Livewire scoffed at the statement.

"Well excuse me for trying to make her shut up! Man, even as a kid she's a nuisance and completely useless. I don't know how you stand the idiot half the time Ivy."

Ivy may have been cracking under all the pressure from putting up with Harley, but no one talked down about her clumsy side kick except her. Seeing the deadly gleam in Ivy's green narrowing eyes, Zatanna interfered.

"Now, now guys. We should be set good examples for Harley, not bad ones."

Ivy and Livewire merely glanced in the opposite direction and crossed their arms in defense.

"Did you try walking around with her? Sometimes babies like to observe the area around them."

Supergirl suggested, proceeding over to the couch where the others were gathered.

"Yes."

Ivy answered, still a little cross with the pale woman sitting next to her.

"All righty. Have you played with her? Babies need lots of attention."

Supergirl tried again, finding it hard to believe that nothing was calming down the clown.

"Yes. Been there, done that."

Catwoman coldly retorted, a personal victim of "playtime" with Harley. Zatanna decided to give her hearsay, seeing as how Supergirl was getting shot down.

"What about-"

Ivy wouldn't let Zatanna finish. If one more question was asked about what methods she and Catwoman tried to do for Harley she was going to literally loose it and not in a good way.

"We did everything, okay? She won't shut up, all she keeps saying is "Pudd'n" this and "Pudd'n" that. I've about had all I can take so lay off!"

Supergirl looked down at her the floor, not sure how to help the distressed women.

Livewire scooted a inch further away, fearing Ivy would attack at any given second. Catwoman rested her arms over her head, stretching her body and tried to act calm in spite of her feelings to slice out Harley's lungs with her claws. Letting go a nervous chuckle Zatanna dared to say,

"I was going to suggest we take her out for a walk."

"What!"

The five other women chorused together, all of them snapping their heads around at Zatanna. No one saw that one coming, that's for sure. Shrugging, Zatanna cracked her knuckles, not terribly surprised by their reactions but at the same time, all she was asking for was a little cooperation.

"No one would know the difference. People may be able to pin point Harley Quinn in a heartbeat, but a baby?"

It wasn't that Zatanna's idea was completely unrealistic. There was merely the risks of society seeing not one, but three confirmed lethal criminals walking the streets.

"I dunno."

Supergirl slowly drew out the words, running a gloved hand through her flaxen hair.

"Wouldn't we be just drawing attention to ourselves?"

Livewire agreed with Supergirl on that one.

"Seriously man. A plant woman, a meda human, a Kyrptonian, a sorceress and a walking box of electricity? I'm not seeing the rainbow. It's like we're asking for Bats and Suits to finds us..."

Zatanna simply gestured at Harley that she had secured on her hip, who was pounding fiercely at her chest and wailing for the Joker.

"You got a better idea?"

No one said a word.

 

* * *

 

Harley cooed happily in Supergirl's arms, admiring the view of the world around her.

"This is embarrassing."

Supergirl griped, ignoring the shocked stares from the locals.

"You're telling me..."

Livewire mumbled gruffly, feeling her cheeks redden upon hearing some of the rumors driftting between the onlookers who dared to stop and observe the uncanny party.

"At least she's not screaming. There's a plus, right?"

Ivy pointed out with a small grunt, also annoyed at all the attention they were drawing.

"True."

Catwoman addressed softly, glancing idly around to kill time.

"If my agent catches me like this I'll never hear the end of it."

"Uhhh, this was  _your_  idea, remember?"

Livewire briskly grumbled over to the sorceress, turning in motion with the others as they came to the end of the block.

"I know. I didn't think about the risks, I just wanted her to be quiet."

Zatanna meekly admitted, rubbing at her neck guiltily. Livewire threw her hands up in the air, sighing loudly, somehow not surprised to learn that was Zatanna's reason. Livewire's day was truly being sabotaged and she knew she couldn't do a thing about it.

"Since Harley doesn't seem to be returning to normal anytime soon, why don't we hit a few shops?"

The petrified expressions Ivy saw form on the faces of her guests were priceless.

"Ohh, Louis Lane is missing out on a huge scoop all right."

Livewire finally managed to ground out, finding her voice.

"For real."

Supergirl agreed, glancing down at the source of their problems. Supergirl couldn't help but smile when Harley battered her long eyelashes and squealed cutely up at her.

"Well."

Supergirl sighed, closing her eyes momentarily to think about what they would be doing together.

"Were do you want to go first?"

Catwoman wanted to leave right then and there but her so called "friendship" with Ivy, forced her to remain. Zatanna would have killed to turned around and walk away and catch a cab home, but she also stayed. Not because she was needed, but because she wanted to live up to her responsibility for summoning Supergirl and Livewire. Supergirl herself didn't mind just as long as Livewire didn't try to pull anything while they were Gotham, she didn't have a problem. Livewire on the hand was screwed. There were two superheroes walking in line with her that she personally knew could put up a good fight. She was too tired to attempt an escape tactic and decided for now, to recharge herself and see what the future would bring her.

"I don't understand how we came out with so many bags for just one kid."

Livewire expressed her thought thirty minutes later, struggling to keep her share of bags level on both arms. Some bags contained diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and toys. Others were weighed down with baby food, wipes and a few sets of clothing. Yawing and giving her arms a good stretch above her head, Zatanna asked of the women,

"So ladies, what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

Ivy inquired, currently packing Harley up against one shoulder while using a hand on Harley's back to keep her steady.

"Well we're all kind of stuck in this together, right?"

Livewire had something to say about that. If there was a time to exit, now would be it.

"Oh no. There's no  _way_  I'm helping anymore after this. I just wanna get back to Metropolis ASAP."

Supergirl rubbed her chin, humming thoughtfully out loud on purpose.

"Too bad."

She replied with a sly smile.

"I was going to let you off the hook too."

Hearing that actually made Livewire reconsider her options.

"Well if you're that desperate to leave, I can zap you guys back to Metropolis right now if you want?"

Zatanna added, catching Supergirl's drift.

"Go ahead Zatanna. I'm game. Shame though, I was going to kick back and help out and let my mission slide under the radar. But if Livewire really wants to go, we can pick up where we last started. I believe we were outside the bank. I was in the process of getting ready to use a fire hydrant..."

That did the trick. Even Livewire knew when to no kick a gift horse in the mouth.

"Let's slumber party girls!"

Supergirl and Zatanna exchanged winks, both pleased with Livewire's submission.

"I guess I'll help. I can't let poor Ivy loose her mind now can I?"

Ivy smiled in Catwoman's direction, grateful for her compassion.

"Then it's settled."

Zatanna confirmed, gesturing at the whole lot of them.

"Until Harley returns to normally, we're all neutral, agreed?"

Zatanna smiled seeing their heads nod.

 

* * *

 

"Pudd'n!"

Harley bellowed, drawing the women from their slumber and as if planned from the start, Ivy opened her eyes in motion with everyone else. She was just about to come out of the bedroom she shared with Catwoman until she heard Zatanna outside the door say,

"I got her!"

Ivy's hand fell away from the door knob and she gladly retreated back to the bed, eager to return to the warmth of the bed sheets. Since Catwoman heard Zatanna claim tabs, she didn't bother to move herself on her side of the bed. Feeling the mattress groan, she assumed Ivy was back.

"I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take."

Ivy whispered, followed by a dramatic sigh.

"I hear you there."

Catwoman garbled, exhaling softly into the pillow. Outside of the bedroom, Livewire rolled onto her side and couldn't help but complain to Supergirl.

"Man, it feels like she wakes up every other hour."

Livewire yawned, sitting up from her position on the couch.

"That's because she is. Does she not have another obsession to cry over? Like, how many times has she said "Pudd'n" today, not counting just now?"

Supergirl inquired below Livewire on the floor. Supergirl didn't mind sleeping on the floor but Harley sure made it hard to get adjusted.

"Come on Harley, go to sleep. I don't have the energy to perform any more tricks with my magic. Give my wand a break kiddo."

Zatanna spoke softly down to the whimpering clown, stumbling slightly due to her lack of sleep. Thankfully, Supergirl saw it coming and dashed to her side and caught her by the elbows just in the nick of time.

"Do you want me to take her?"

Zatanna valued the offer but she kindly declined, telling Supergirl to get some rest. Supergirl nodded and returned to her position on the floor in the living room, still a little worried about Zatanna. Her suit was ruffled and had stains from Harley's spit up all over it. Zatanna's hair wasn't much better, even with her hat on and the dark bags under her mystic blue eyes totally gave the exhaustion. But Zatanna did say she would be fine so Supergirl went back to sleep. Rather she tried to sleep. Supergirl wasn't the only one who suffered this fate. Livewire was a victim up front, being in the same room with Harley and all. Ivy and Catwoman also struggled to sleepy peacefully and they were in the bedroom with a thick sound suppression walls.

 

* * *

 **_At 2:00 A.M_ ** **_._ **

* * *

 

Livewire may of been a villain and lived the life of a villain, but she wasn't so heartless she'd let Zatanna volunteer to care for Harley again after struggling to get the child to sleep for the past two hours. The second she heard Harley whimpering in the crib Zatanna had made for Harley, she rose up from the couch, saying she'd get Harley and tend her needs. By the time she made it over to the crib, Harley was standing on her hind legs, alert and curious to see who would play with her. The PJ's the women bought for the clown were adorable. One side was black, while the other was white. There was no cap or special mask to the outfit. However, Ivy cleaned off all the make-up on Harley's face and put the clown hat back on her head just for kicks.

"Listen up you. There's people trying to sleep here and I'm telling ya' right now, if you give me trouble I'm gonna-"

Livewire didn't finish her threat upon seeing Harley extended her arms lovingly up at her and smile. Against her will, Livewire blushed, touched at Harley's innocent act. Before picking her up, Livewire looked over her should to see if the others were watching. Convinced they were without a doubt, fast asleep, she reached down and gathered Harley up into her arms. Livewire blushed even harder when she felt Harley fling her arms around her neck and snuggle into her chest.

"You know, you're kinda... cute when you're not going on about that jerk."

Livewire whispered, hugging the child close. Eventually, Livewire sat down at the kitchen table. She wasn't good at the whole mushy motherly stuff, so she decided to tell Harley criminal stories, all which focused around Livewire. With Harley still in her arms, Livewire passed out a good while later with a surprisingly good mannered Harley continuing to hug her. Harley wasn't tired, but being held and pressed up against Livewire's warm body like that just felt nice.

 

* * *

**_At 3:17 A.M._ **

* * *

 

Supergirl's ears were extra sensitive to sound. She recognized the beginning steps to the scream instantly.

"I got her."

She said to no one in particular, bouncing up to her feet and zooming at the speed of light behind the chair Livewire sat in. Minding Livewire, she gently untangled Harley from Livewire's neck.

"Come on Harley. Let's go for a small ride."

Harley titled her head up at Supergirl, intrigued at the request. Without making a sound, Supergirl sauntered over to a window, opened it and took off with a whoosh. With one arm snaked around Harley and the other prolonged outward, Supergirl flew over the tall skyscrapers of Gotham City, observing the night life below her. She circled a few buildings, did a some impressive loopy-like tricks through clouds and grinned hearing Harley's squeal excitedly. Since Harley liked it so much, Supergirl repeated the routine until she drained herself of all remaining energy.

"Okay tiger, let's head back."

Supergirl whispered, suppressing the urge to yawn. Luckily, Harley was in the process of drifting off too. This made Supergirl very happy.

 

* * *

**_At 4:35 A.M._ **

* * *

 

Ivy sat in the seat opposite of Livewire at the dinning table, currently feeding Harley a bottle. The entire time Harley sucked greedily at her meal, Ivy struggled to keep awake. She had slept the longest so far, but she was still very tired.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish you'd hurry and grow up already."

Ivy glanced down and frowned at the clown. The frown went away seeing Harley pull away from the bottle and release a wide yawn. Unable to resist her cuteness, Ivy set the bottle aside, drawing Harley close up to the side of her face.

"But I guess there's some perks having you like this too."

She quietly stood up, taking a moment to burp Harley. It took Ivy a few minutes, but she finally got one out of her.

"There we go. Feel better?"

Ivy asked the infant, smiling slightly when a small grunt filled her ears. In a rare movement of affection, Ivy pecked Harley on the mouth, then on her forehead.

"You drive me absolutely crazy, but... blast it all, I do care about you... now, be a good little girl and go to sleep for mommy?"

Ivy used the term mother loosely, she didn't associate herself to be the motherly type but it was a little hard not to give into maternal instinct with Harley as a baby. Harley reached out and patted Ivy gently on the face and cooed happily at her. Ivy smirked against the tiny palm on her mouth, chuckled softly then ever so gingerly brushed her lips over Harley's fingers before placing her in the crib. Harley didn't fuss, whine or mention "Pudd'n" once. She simply curled into a ball and went to sleep. Ivy pulled the covers up and over Harley's small body and tucked the corners around her shoulders. With a thoughtful expression on her face, Ivy leaned over the railing of the crib, placed a protective hand on the clown's backside and she gave one final goodnight kiss to Harley on the cheek. Harley smiled in her sleep and seeing her smile, made Ivy grin.

"Goodnight Harl. Sweet dreams."

Straightening her posture, Ivy turned around and headed back to the bedroom.

 

* * *

**_At 6:00 A.M._ **

* * *

 

Catwoman chuckled, hushing Harley.

"Shh... everyone is asleep. You don't want to wake them, do you?"

She gently teased the clown as she changed the foul smelling diaper. Afterwards, she placed Harley back in the crip. Tucking the cover back around her shoulders, Catwoman patted Harley gently on the head then returned to the bedroom, hoping Harley wouldn't need anymore attention so she and the other women could get some more rest.

* * *

The following morning, Harley was officially asleep, truly satisfied and comfortable nestled away in the crib. The women on the other hand looked like death warmed over. Their defined sag in posture, sluggish movements and the noticeable dark rings under their eyes said it all.

"Is it only eight o' clock?"

Zatanna asked weakly, hardly believing how the night went.

"Yeah. We're so not cut out for this. It literally took five us to pacify her. I don't know if that's impressive or just downright pathetic."

Supergirl muttered, then released a low groan as she let her head rest against Livewire's. She used Livewire as a support even though she didn't ask for permission. Livewire didn't care, she was just as drained and needed something to lean against.

"I am  _so_  not having kids."

Livewire wanted more power to behind the statement but she just didn't have the strength. Not even so much as a single electron fusing through her system at the moment.

"I put my hijack on hold... for this?"

Catwoman rasped, rubbing at her sore throat. If she hadn't sung so many nursery lullabies to Harley her voice would of sounded so much better. At the time, it seemed like a good idea but Harley Quinn proved to be quite the challenge.

"And to think that was just a day and night with her."

Ivy mumbled, pouring herself some fresh squeezed eggplant juice behind the kitchen counter.

"My vacation seems so far away right now. Maker's sake, I should be soaking up the sun in Jamaica, yet I'm here? What on earth was I thinking when I agreed to help you Catwoman?"

Zatanna complained to the thief beside her, sitting on the edge couch with a grumpy expression on her face. Catwoman shook her head, admitting that she felt the same way.

"Superman's going to flip when he finds out why I haven't reported back with Livewire. Then John will lecture me on why I shouldn't help evil and then he'll make me go through a training simulation as punishment."

Supergirl spoke up again, dreading her future with a passion. All of a sudden, the crib began to shake uncontrollably. One would think seeing such a thing, you'd react somehow. Ivy and the others just slowly turned their heads in the direction of the crib, watching in mute silence as Harley grew bigger and bigger until she was back to her original size. Body parts and all. Harley's weight broke the magical crib and naturally, it whisked itself away. Harley didn't really seem to notice and just grinned from ear to ear, waving excitedly at the group of women.

"Hi guys! Can I just say, I slept great! Never have I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated!"

Harley became aware of the fact that her PJ's were torn and only certain stretched pieces covered parts of her body.

"What the? This is terrible! Furthermore, why am I wearing this? Honestly, whoever put me in this has serious fashion issues."

A light bulb went off in Harley's head.

"Hey, I know. Let's go shopping! I bet there's some great things on sale right now."

Obviously Harley didn't recall the previous day and the night that followed. Or dared to question why Supergirl and Zatanna for example, were present in Ivy's apartment. For some reason, this really bothered the other women.

"Then again, it's not like you guys would ever get caught dead outside together, so maybe I'll just go by myself and pick up a few things and…"

Harley trailed off, finding the intensity behind the women's glares slightly unsettling.

"Why are you all starring at me like that?"

Harley became more confused hearing them release heavy sighs. Harley wasn't sure why her friends were so depressed but being the random person she was, Harley moved on and didn't dwell too much on it. At random, Harley decided she should get out of the torn PJ's and dress appropriately. Since she kept some copies of her clown outfit in the living room's coat closet, she sauntered over to it and opened the door. She smiled not because she was about to change into some fresh clothes but because of what she saw sitting in the corner in the far corner of the closet.

"Oh Red! I totally forgot about this thing!"

Ivy glanced at the bubbly blonde with tired eyes, holding her now empty mug of eggplant juice.

"Forgot about what?"

"This!"

The item Harley pulled out caused many reactions from the group. The delicate glass in Ivy's hand shattered from the pressure behind her sudden increase in strength, Livewire fainted, Supergirl scoffed and could have cried seeing the object Harley was holding close to her. Zatanna arched an eyebrow and slowly craned her neck over in Catwoman's direction. She glowered at Catwoman, who sat still in shock, silently staring at the Real Villains doll Harley began to cuddle with.

"No materials, huh?"

Zatanna muttered sarcastically, intentionally allowing the bite in her annoyed voice to slip though. Knowing the jab was directed at her, Catwoman bowed her head in defeat. There was no point in defending herself or begging Zatanna for forgiveness. Some things were just better left unsaid.


	2. Episode 2: Not Again

Back pressed against the wall and hands up over her face, Harley braced herself for the worst beat down and scold session ever. Honestly, she felt like a trapped animal with no way out with Ivy's hands on her neck, nearly choking the life out of her. If it wasn't for other women in the room, trying to hold Ivy back and some of them attempting to pry Ivy's hands off Harley's Neck, Harley was sure she would of given up the ghost and died moments ago.

"I am going to  _murder_  you Harl! How could you flipping do that a  _second_  time after  _everything_  we told you and after learning  _everything_  we had to go through to get you big again?!"

"Red I'm sorry. It was an accident. I thought the golden dust in the jar was golden sugar."

If looks could kill, everyone circling around Ivy would be dead, including Harley who had the displeasure of staring into Ivy's chilling, green eyes. Harley couldn't be sure but she could of sworn she saw Ivy' pupils slit before turning normal again. What this proved to Harley was two things. A, Ivy was seriously pissed off and upset with her and two, Ivy had mentioned drinking a new kind of serum that was supposed to enhance her abilities but the kicker was, the formula would force her eyes to slit to separate the two different modes.

"Gold sugar? Is our house the North pole now and my pots of Venus fly-trap plants supposed to be jolly elves that just so happen switch out normal sugar with experimental dust that's located in the basement on a bio hazard sign that said,  _Danger: Do Not Touch_ _?!_ "

Harley grinned nervously and made the mistake of suggesting something to compliment Ivy's analogy.

"Umm... yes? And the basement where you conduct those experiments is the workshop where they make all sorts of things while you're away making crime and fighting off the nice children of Gotham City."

Ivy's nostrils flared up, several visible veins bulged under her green, leaf-like skin and her resistance to let go of her partner's neck couldn't of been harder to break. Grunting loudly, Catwoman tugged Ivy backwards while Livewire and Zatanna worked together to force Ivy's fingers off Harley's neck.

"Ivy don't do it! If you kill her in cold blood, you'll be wanted for manslaughter!"

Catwoman huffed, suddenly finding it harder to restrain Ivy. It almost felt like she had increased in strength but Catwoman couldn't understand why that would happen. Then again, the source to Ivy's constant headaches and distress was currently being pinned against the wall and strangled. Was feeling a shift in Ivy's strength really all that odd? Deciding that it was completely normal for Ivy to reach a new level of aggression with the given circumstances, Catwoman dismissed Ivy's random burst in energy and refocused her attention back on trying to get her off Harley and if possible, put some distance between them.

"I've killed blondes before what's another one going to hurt?!"

The heated remark made all the women cringe, especially Harley. Despite that everyone was batting for different teams, led different lives and had done different things in their careers as heroes and villains, all the women were guilty of forgetting that Poison Ivy legitly did have a bad rep back in the day and bore a horrible record of leaving trails of death behind her. Harley had softened her, though she wouldn't admit that, it was the truth and since living with Harley, Ivy's kill streak had declined drastically over the years. Which was exactly why the women didn't want Ivy to loose it and destroy the one thing that kept her away from that extreme in life.

"Hey, I wanna zap the whinny brat too for breaking the jar and taking a dust bath in the stuff but even I know that's not gonna end well for you later if you really do kill her. So do us all a favor and just... let... her.. go!"

Livewire growled through clenched teeth, still very much battling Ivy's death grip, wishing she'd loosen up already. After a few more seconds of grumbling at Ivy and cursing under their breath, Catwoman, Livewire and Zatanna were successful in pulling Ivy off Harley and separating the two. To prevent another smack down, Zatanna took out her wand and gave it quick whirl, muttering a spell backwards.

"Egac."

Right before everyone's eyes, a thick, titanium cage appeared in the middle of the living room. Unimpressed with her tactic to stall her, Ivy pinned daggers on Zatanna and started to stalk towards her relentlessly.

"If you think you or anyone else in this room is going to get me in that cage Zatanna you're dead wrong."

Ivy backed Zatanna up against the bar in the kitchen and even though she knew she was letting her anger get the better of her, she allowed it to hum in her veins and happily gave into the urge to waste anyone who was stupid enough to get in her way of wrecking Harley's world. Zatanna winced when Ivy's dormant vines on her body came alive and snaked around her frame. The pressure was so strong, she dropped her wand and immediately began to gasp for air.

"T-The cage isn't for you. It's f-for H-Harley. I can't just let you k-kill her, Ivy."

Zatanna whispered through small intakes of air, lifting a shaky arm and pointing in the direction of Harley, who remained with her back against the far wall. She was too scared to move and even more scared of what Ivy would do to her if she moved. Glancing at each other, Livewire and Supergirl nodded once then they took off in different directions. Ignoring Ivy's death glare, Supergirl kept her distance from her, went over to Harley and quickly gathered Harley up into her arms. Knowing it would probably be a matter of seconds before Ivy raged after her, Supergirl gracefully flew them both into the cage, gently set Harley down in the middle of the cage then turned around so she could close door. When she faced Harley again, Supergirl's mouth fell wide open and her eyebrows arched up in shock seeing Harley go from being big, to shrinking down until she was a helpless, sobbing baby. Taking pity on Harley, Supergirl hit her knees and picked Harley back up, cradling her close and doing her best to shush her. With Harley secured and safe in the cage with Supergirl, Livewire raised charged hands and stretched them out as far as they could go. Without hesitation, Livewire zapped Ivy, forcing her to let Zatanna go. Gravely annoyed to experience unpleasant shock waves of electricity surge though her body, Ivy whirled around and lunged at Livewire and released loud, frustrated battle cry. The two villain violently scuffled with each other in the background, knocking over furniture in the process. Terribly weakened from the toxic sap that was seeping into her sweat glands from Ivy's leaves, Zatanna's world started to go black. She started to sway and loose her balance when suddenly, Catwoman dashed over to Zatanna's side. She caught the groaning magician before she made contact with the floor and casually guided Zatanna down to the floor.

"Easy. I got you."

Zatanna cracked a faint smile at burglar, grateful for her assistance.

"Thank you Catwoman. I'll be all right. I just need to think of a remedy spell to counter the effects of the poison."

Catwoman watched Zatanna cast a healing spell over herself, convinced she'd bounce right back into the action but the magic going out of her, combined with a night with little sleep must of been the breaking point for Zatanna. She didn't mean to pass out in the middle of a serious situation but she was so tired and Catwoman was was wearing a leather suit and it was quite warm against her body. It soothed Zatanna right into oblivion and Catwoman couldn't find it in herself to wake her up. Allowing Zatanna to use her as a pillow, Catwoman raised troubled eyes, silently wondering if Ivy's rage was ever going to burn out. From the looks of things, it was only getting started. At that moment, the door to the apartment slowly groaned opened and the sound of it made all the women blink in surprise. The group of disarrayed friends turned their necks, all of them, excluding Zatanna and Harley, wanted to see who was at the door. Harley continued to cry, but other then that, no one made a sound. The three women in costume who stepped into the apartment froze seeing all the faces staring back at them. Eyes wide, jaw slightly agap, Black Canary pointed at the scene before her.

"What-"

Black Canary began, only to get cut off by Wonder Woman.

"The-"

Who didn't get to finish the sentence, for the woman in clad leather standing next to her, was thinking along the sames like everyone else in their search party.

" _Hell?_ "

Finished Talia Al Ghu, putting much overemphasis on the word. Ivy was  _not_  in the mood to take on members of the Justice League so she ceased in her fight with Livewire and got off of her. Huffing loudly, Ivy's hands leapt up in vexation.

"Ohh this morning just keeps getting better and better! Tell me, did you all hear about the night we had?! Do you desire to turn into a baby too?!"

Before anyone from the Justice League could comment on what Ivy had said, Ivy stormed off into her bedroom and slammed the door so hard behind her, the hinges actually broke off, causing the door to slide a little bit off its normal mark. Deeply confused and lost in what was going on, the eyes of women from the Justice League fell on the others, expecting someone to provide a rational explanation for what they were witnessing. When no one dared to offer a reason, Black Canary raised her hand, like one would do if they were in school and waiting to be acknowledged by the teacher. The goal was to get everyone to look at her. Maybe if she did that and opened up the conversation first, someone could provide her, Wonder Woman and Talia some information. Anything was better then standing there, gawking at each other awkwardly.

"Okay. So that just happened."

Black Canary muttered, lowering her hand and was pleased to see that everyone was indeed, staring at her now and that she had their attention.

"Supergirl, why is your assignment here, in Gotham City and not behind bars in Metropolis?"

Raising a eyebrow, Black Canary pointed at Catwoman on the ground with Zatanna.

"Catwoman this is awkward even for you."

Catwoman looked off and up at the ceiling as if to beg for patience.

"Trust me, I know. I'm still asking myself why I agreed to help Ivy in the first place."

Finally, Black Canary locked onto Livewire and she carefully assessed the grumpy woman leaning against the cage door. Livewire's expression was tired and unreadable. She had a black eye starting to form and painful whip marks she received from Ivy's vines all over her body. Black Canary thought the whip marks looked menacing against Livewire's skin and wondered what on earth had happened in the apartment that made Ivy want to do such a thing to a fellow criminal Black Canary knew for fact Ivy valued as a friend.

"Geeze."

Sighed Black Canary, daring to take a step forward.

"When Zatanna texted me and said to come with back-up and to keep it on the DL until she could explain, I can see why. "Harley's a baby again, Ivy's going to kill her for real", she said. What Zatanna meant by "again" I don't know but she must of been pretty desperate to ask me to come help her."

Resting a hand on her hip, Black Canary glanced over her shoulder at Wonder Woman and Talia.

"See? This is why I hate Mondays. All the weird crap happens on Mondays but no one believes me."

Wonder Woman shared a troubled look with Talia before fixating her gaze on Supergirl in the cage. Harley had quieted down by now and was clinging to Supergirl very tightly. Tilting her head just slightly, the hard, serious expression on Wonder Woman's relaxed. She couldn't find it in herself to get mad and yell at Zatanna for working with the opposite team and like Black Canary said on their way down to earth, Zatanna needed to explain the situation to them before anyone assumed what was going on and took it all out of context. Walking over to the cage, Wonder Woman gently brushed past Livewire, opened the cage door and went over to where Supergirl was standing. Somehow, seeing Harley in such a vulnerable state and whimpering pitifully as she clung to Supergirl softened Wonder Woman and it made her want to understand what was going on all the more.

"I suppose we need to start from the beginning don't we?"

Catwoman's question came seemingly out of no where. Curious eyes traveled over to Catwoman. Grateful to finally learn something, Black Canary and Talia nodded.

"Well..."

Catwoman sighed, making a show of glancing around the room full of women.

"We're in this mess because of me and when I say we, I mean Livewire, Ivy, Zatanna and Supergirl. But initially, we're all here because Harley accidentally sniffed some pollen dust at the Wax Museum that temporarily turns you back into a baby."

Minding Zatanna in her arms, Catwoman jerked her head in the cage's direction.

"As you all can see, the pollen dust is extremely effective."

"You mentioned this all started with you. How is that?"

Talia smoothly inserted herself into the discussion, showing herself to Ivy's couch and sitting down on it as if she had every right in the world to be there.

"Because Ivy called _me_  first and thought the two of us could handle Harley. Embarrassing as it is for me, a grown woman to admit this, we couldn't do it so  _I_  gave Zatanna a ring and well..."

From there, Catwoman went into full detail, making sure to explain all the events from the previous day in order, starting with the error Harley made at the Wax Museum. By the time she was done, Black Canary was sitting on the couch beside Talia and both heroines sat there in a stiff silence, one eyebrows arched with mouths slightly open while reflecting sheer looks of horror on their faces. The only one who was taking the news well was Wonder Woman. She was currently holding Harley and talking to her softly. Harley settled down even more and snuggled her way into the crease of Wonder Woman's arm. Supergirl stood in front of Wonder Woman and out of habit, stroked Harley on the head, like she had done so many times last night when she played with her or was trying to get her to go to sleep. The two of them continued to smile at Harley and gush over her cuteness and left the game plan up to Black Canary, Talia and Catwoman. Livewire wasn't interested in finding a solution. At this rate, having Supergirl haul her off to jail was grace compared to what she feared, would be another round of baby sitting. The question she had as she wearily walked into the kitchen to grab herself a beer out of the fridge was this: If just a little sniff of the pollen dust caused Harley to turn into a baby for a mere 24 hour time span... what on earth was in store for them since the entire jar of pollen dust fell on her and doused her in its effects?

Livewire groaned just thinking about the possibilities and decided she needed to grab a couple of beers and get really drunk if that was the case. As if keeping Harley happy and well fed wasn't tedious enough, now the group would have to do it again, on top of keeping Ivy calm about the messed up situation. Ivy was still very upset and had yet to come out of her room. Livewire couldn't be sure what would come of that situation but hopefully, Ivy would regain control of her senses and possibly put on a lab coat and create something that could counter the pollen dust. It would be worth a shot. Otherwise, Livewire wasn't so sure she'd ever see the blue clear skies of Metropolis for a very long time.


	3. Episode 3: Gone

Ivy was still cooling down in the bedroom and somewhere in between her being forced into the bedroom by Catwoman, tossed on the bed and strapped down by Wonder Woman's lasso, Ivy lost the bravado she had so graciously displayed in front of the other women and drifted off into an agitated slumber against her will. Ivy didn't feel like sleeping. She wanted to go to her lab and figure out a quick remedy for Harley and return Harley to her normal age, but with her stress level being what it was on top of having the Justice League invade her personal space, Ivy found she just didn't have the energy to spare and needed the rest.

Outside of the bedroom, the other women were gathered around in a close circle, except for Zatanna. Zatanna was propped up in a lounge chair by the window, resting peacefully and wasn't about to wake up anytime soon. Due to being weakened by Ivy's poison attack, Zatanna had to channel all her energy into herself so she could properly cleanse the poison from her system. No one noticed how the faint hue of light covering Zatanna was also covering the magical cage. The women were too busy talking to pay it any mind and Zatanna was too delirious from the effects from being poisoned to recognize the consequence of calling her power back into herself, would affect the magical cage Harley was in. Harley had fallen asleep in Supergirl's arms a good two hours ago and stayed in her cute curled up position, suckling softly on her thumb. The more Zatanna used her power to cleanse out her body, the weaker the magical cage became until finally, it vanished. So distracted was the group of women trying to figure out the best possible solution for Ivy and Harley's delicate situation, no one noticed how Zatanna's magical cage had nicely erased its existence and took Harley with it.

Despite her strong dislike for her rivals, Livewire stood beside the lounge chair where Zatanna was rejuvenating, arms crossed with a determined look on her face. Every so often Livewire would stop listening to Catwoman talk so she could study the broken cracked door of Ivy's bedroom. Livewire wanted to be ready for another rumble from the plantwoman, fearing if she let her guard down and Ivy got angry again that Zatanna would need protection. Livewire didn't doubt Zatanna's allies for second. She knew they'd help her if Ivy tried something but Livewire wasn't planning on stepping in to be Zatanna's savior. She just wanted an excuse to floor Ivy for the stunt she pulled earlier. Livewire respected Ivy and in the past. She, Ivy and Harley had a girl's night out in Gotham and enjoyed themselves until Supergirl and Batgirl showed up and put an end to their fun.

Shaking her head to clear it, Livewire glanced in Supergirl's direction, genuinely wondering how much longer Catwoman planned on briefing them of her plan to restore Harley back to her old self without Ivy's help. Livewire also wondered when Supergirl was going to stop tolerating her presence, cave in and resume her mission before Zatanna accidentally summoned them to Gotham City. Supergirl felt Livewire's cold, piercing stare and lazily met her eyes with her own. Instinctively, Livewire looked away, not wanting to be accused of staring. Frowning, Supergirl returned her attention back to Catwoman. Neither she or Livewire noticed the cage and Harley were missing. In fact, the women were completely oblivious and assumed the silence they heard, was a sign that Harley was content taking her nap and no one thought anything about it.

"Guys I'm telling you, this plan can work and it will work, but I'm going to need your all's help so I can steal that growth ray from the Penguin."

Wonder Woman blinked slowly, unimpressed with Catwoman's proposal.

"How is stealing a growth ray going to help the situation?"

Wonder Woman pointed at herself then gestured at Black Canary and Talia specifically.

"In  _our_  experience, those things come with dire after effects. Not just for the one the ray is used on but also the atmosphere it is used in. No offense Catwoman, but I think we're better off laying low, helping you all out until the powder wears off on its own or for Ivy to invent a remedy of sorts."

Catwoman took a bold step forward and when she spoke, everyone heard the desperation in her voice.

"We don't have time for that! I've seen how Ivy's experiments worked in the past. She did something similar like this in Dakota City and the Metas of that area died as a result. Those people were supposed to have super enhanced features of the power they already had but Ivy gave what should have been her lackeys, backfired and all the Metas aged super quickly and became dust."

Catwoman snapped her finger firmly.

"Just like that. I would know because I was there helping her give out the shots and we watched in horror as the Metas cried out in pain and saw them age rapidly then die. If you all remember me telling you, the powder Ivy made was supposed to be used on the guards. Do you recall this?"

Several nods greeted Catwoman. Pleased, Catwoman pressed on, anxious to get them to agree to help her.

"If something bad happened to them, like rapid aging, what's it to her? They weren't anyone important but Harley is different. Overlook Ivy's anger and the attack on Zatanna. I know it wasn't right of her but you guys have to understand, Ivy's freaking out on the inside. The longer Harley is a baby under the effects of that power, Ivy knows Harley's life is at risk. That's why she's on edge because despite her genius of a mind and college credentials, she isn't the safest biochemist when it comes to stuff like this."

Wonder Woman leaned further back into the cushions of the couch, crossed her arms and sincerely considered the disturbing truth Catwoman was bringing to their attention.

"Look, Ivy is an emotional wreck. You all can see that. And that's a problem because she works best when she's calm and has quiet."

Catwoman shook her head.

"That isn't an option so unless one of you have a better idea to age Harley up, speak now. If not, grow a pair,  _shut up_ and help! Whether you all like this or not, we're in this together and no one is leaving until Harley is normal again!"

The women of the Justice League winced at the cutting tone Catwoman used. An awkward silence followed and for the longest time, the only noise that could be heard was soft snoring from Zatanna and some of the cars honking their horns outside of the apartment.

"Say we all agree to do this Catwoman..."

Supergirl cautiously inserted herself into the conversation, broke the tension and instantly, everyone turned their heads to Supergirl.

"And we help you nab this growth ray from Penguin. What makes you so confident Penguin's growth way won't have negative effects on Harley? This will be a lot of wasted time and energy if that's the case and we'll be right back to square one."

Catwoman smirked, not even phased by the skepticism Supergirl was throwing at her.

"Oh. Don't worry. He's used this growth ray before. It even has a dial on it and he can set it to whatever size he wants. The second feature is strictly for humans and there's another dial he uses to set the age range he wants."

Disturbed, Wonder Woman, Black Canary and Talia exchanged knowing looks then shrugged, deciding they've heard weirder stories with villains that used gadgets. As if knowing the others weren't convinced that Penguin's invention was legit, Catwoman narrowed her eyes.

"What? I've watched him use it dozens of times and not once have I seen any flaws with his creation."

Catwoman paused. Clearing her throat, Catwoman's features hardened the other women noted the change.

"However, there is  _one_  slight problem with my plan."

Black Canary arched an eyebrow.

"Why am I not surprised? Well Catwoman, what's the problem?"

Black Canary asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Right before Penguin got busted by Batman and sent off to Arkum five months back, he gave his invention to Jason, the wanna-be Swamp Thing for safe keeping. Said he'd come back for it after the mission but he never returned from the mission. Swamp Thing is currently residing in Nebraska as we speak, in a murky swamp land and running off anyone or anything that comes onto his territory."

"And you know all of this information  _how?_ "

Livewire demanded seemingly out of nowhere. Lifting her head just slightly, Catwoman raised a finger and pressed it to her lips.

"Shh. It's my little secret. Not telling. Cat burglar code and all."

Livewire rolled her eyes.

"Of course..."

She muttered, glancing away. It was then, Livewire noticed that the magical cage was gone and Harley... was nowhere to be found. Alarmed, she frantically started to glance around the room for any signs of Harley. Every nook and corner was empty, free of baby drool or destruction. Rubbing her arm, Livewire started to chew on her lower lip and instantly she felt the panic building in her chest.

_Uh-oh... that's not good. Maybe I should tell them?_

Livewire shook her head, tuning out the talk of the others and trying to center herself. She needed to find Harley before Ivy woke up or someone else noticed she was missing. Livewire wasn't sure why she felt the need to do that. Maybe Harley, in the short time of baby sitting her and having to care for her needs, softened Livewire? Whatever it was, Livewire didn't fight it. For now, she quietly moved away from Zatanna in the chair and stealthy investigated around the apartment, making herself appear like she was casually walking about.

_I better keep this to myself. Don't wanna upset the balance. I'll just... look around. Yeah. That's what I'll do. There's a basement here. Maybe Quinn returned to the scene of the crime?_

As Livewire opened the basement door and started to down the steps, she heard Black Canary blurt out,

"Wait a second. Time out."

Black Canary suddenly jumped up off the couch, hands on her hips and the women watched her rise, amazed at her burst of energy.

"Earlier you said Jason, as in the legit Jason who teamed up with Ivy and tried to turn the world into a garden?"

Catwoman nodded then briskly went over to sit down on a wooden stool near the TV.

"Yes. That very one. You sound surprised."

"Well..."

Black Canary trailed off and rubbed at her neck.

"Yeah. I mean, I thought Harley, Nightwing and Batman burned him alive?"

Heads turned to look at Black Canary then all eyes snapped back over to Catwoman, expecting to hear a response. Sighing, Catwoman rolled her eyes and quickly interjected over to the blonde,

"They  _did_. But he  _obviously_  survived, otherwise I wouldn't be telling you all this."

"Catwoman I have a question."

Supergirl slid off the armrest of the couch near Black Canary and gradually stood beside her superior. Sighing, Catwoman tipped her head in greeting at Supergirl, silently indicating for her to speak.

"Okay so, if Jason is alive and has the growth ray in his custody, how do you plan on us getting it back? Assuming he hasn't pawned it off or broken it?"

Catwoman opened her mouth to reply but in mid-sentence, she caught her breath hearing the basement door burst open, creating a loud shocking noise that startled the other women.

"Guys we have a problem!"

Livewire exclaimed, stepping through the doorway and slamming the door shut behind her. Zatanna heard the door shut but the most she did was flinch in her trance, she remained still in the lounge chair and continued to heal herself.

"What? What's wrong?"

Catwoman asked, rising up off the stool and going over to Livewire.

"It's Harley."

Livewire retorted, worry thick in her voice.

"What about Harley?"

Talia inquired calmly, unsure as to why Livewire was hysterical.

"See, why you guys were blabbering, I noticed something and didn't want to say anything because I thought if I did you all wouldn't believe me or worse, would get mad and maybe accuse me of being irresponsible even though technically we're all in this together and so I tried to look for Harley but she's nowhere to be found. Before going to the basement, I looked around up here and didn't see her and she's not in the basement so that means she's missing and if she's not here in the house with us then where is she and how are we going to explain we lost Harley to Ivy? Ivy's gonna murder us even though, less than two hours ago she wanted to kill Harley we all know she loves the dork and now we're screwed because the only person who Ivy accepts and keeps her sane is  _gone_  and-"

Livewire was rushing her words, uncharacteristically fast. So much to the point the other women squinted and had to gesture at her to slow down with their hands.

"Whoa, whoa,  _whoa!_  Hold on. Back up."

Supergirl stepped in and placed both hands on Livewire's shoulders. She shook Livewire, attempting to calm her rival.

"Leslie, chill. Start over and simply what you're trying to say and talk slower so we can understand you."

Livewire smacked off Supergirl's hands and stepped back, putting space between them on purpose. She didn't like Supergirl in general, much less getting touched by her.

"Harley. Is. Gone. There, was that slow enough for you dimwits to understand?"

Livewire growled through clenched teeth, using her hands to gesture around the small space to prove her point.

"Harley's-"

"Gone?"

The other women echoed in unison, cutting Supergirl off. Livewire nodded then pointed at the area where the magical cage used to be.

"Z's prison didn't hold and the fact that we're just now seeing this? Ivy's not gonna be happy. Six us of here and we somehow managed to loose Quinn!"

"We didn't lose her, the cage did."

Talia offered, keeping her voice polite but nothing short of authority.

"And before you accuse Zatanna of being at fault, the she is exhausted and in Zatanna's defense, she was sleeping when the cage disappeared."

Catwoman shot Talia a dirty look.

"But  _we_  were awake. I see why Livewire's concerned."

"Yeah. So back off lady who can't do anything without her daddy's dick shoved up her a-"

Talia thrust one palm forward and sent Livewire flying right into basement door. Livewire's back popped in several places and before the villain knew what was going on, Talia was there, in front of her with an angry hand clasped around her neck. She was squeezing her and Talia's grip only increased if Livewire tried to pry Talia's hand off her neck.

"Talia no!"

Black Canary exclaimed, rushing over to her friend. Wonder Woman and Supergirl were right behind her.

"She accused my father and I of having incest relations and I  _will not_  tolerate her snark any longer!"

Livewire grunted at tried to wiggle herself free but Talia was using her power to create an invisible barrier, making it harder for Livewire to escape. Livewire did attempt to zap Talia but that same invisible barrier Talia made with her power, merely aborsed Livewire's jolts of electricity, canceling the surge out.

"It was a  _joke_. Sheesh!"

"Well it wasn't nice and now Talia is angry! Way to go Leslie."

Black Canary muttered, grunting loudly as she, Wonder Woman and Supergirl did their best to tug on Talia's limbs and get her to let Livewire go. They weren't successful and all of their commotion stirred Ivy from her slumber. The lasso that was wrapped around her body had loosened since she had stopped trying to fight it and Ivy was finally able to detangle herself. Sliding off the bed, Ivy went over to the closet, found her robe and as she pushed open the half door, she slothfully put the robe on. The door was barely holding together so the moment it opened, it gave up the ghost and fell off its hinges. The noise was so loud, it jarred Zatanna out of her sleep, spooked Black Canary so badly that she wound up jumping into Wonder Woman's arms. Talia didn't expect to get startled so when she did, her power weakened and her head snapped over at Ivy, no longer in the mood to kill Livewire. Livewire collapsed to the floor and put her hand around her neck, coughing and gasping for air. Supergirl flinched in motion with Catwoman when the door thudded on the ground but neither she or Catwoman said anything. They knew better. Ivy was awake and had a grumpy look on her face. One they recognized all too well.

"What are you all doing?"

Silenced fell over the women like a sheet and the awkward stares they gave Ivy didn't make her feel good about anything. As if suspecting the worse and knowing why they were being weird, Ivy turned away from them and started to look in the direction of where the magical cage was. Putting their differences away, the women scrambled over each other to block Ivy's view of the spot. They made a perfect bee line but Zatanna remained quiet and observed the scene from the lounge chair. She was with Ivy and it was obvious the others were trying to cover the obvious up but Zatanna wasn't about to put herself into that oven. She had just woken up after all and to wake up and see no Harley was not something she wanted. Zatanna could only imagine how Ivy was feeling and what she was thinking.

"Where's... Harley?"

Ivy asked in low, dangerous tone that made the hairs raise up on the back of the other woman's neck.

"She's sleeping."

Supergirl remarked with a cheeky grin and couldn't help but notice how she and the other women were starting to break into a cold sweat. Wonder Woman rarely showed worry so for Supergirl to catch Wonder Woman forcing a grin along with everyone else told Supergirl a lot.

"It's quite interesting that you answered me so quickly."

Ivy drew out the statement with venom, letting everyone know she wasn't buying their stalling.

"I need her to wake up so I can run some tests in my lab. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Ivy tried to step around them but the women compacted closer together, stopping her from moving forward again. Annoyed, Ivy crossed her arms and gave Catwoman daggers.

"Selina, what aren't you all telling me?"

Catwoman panicked and it showed on her masked face. Averting her eyes away from Ivy's, Catwoman decided to tell Ivy the truth, despite how much the truth was going to hurt Ivy and possible get them killed.

"She's... gone, Ivy. We don't know how or why, but the cage Zatanna made her for isn't here. It just..."

Catwoman gently threw her arms up to elaborate.

"Whooshed away and as crazy as it sounds, we think it took Harley with it."

Everyone, including Zatanna, heard Ivy catch her breath and noted how her body stiffed.

"Where did it take her?"

Ivy asked softly, surprising everyone with her transition from anger to calm. At this point, Zatanna rose up off the lounge chair and made her way over to the depressed Ivy and her friends. Taking her hat off, Zatanna ran a hand through her mane of hair then placed the hat back on her head.

"We obviously don't know the answer to that question but I can find out. It was my spell and my cage. I can track anything that comes out of me, but I won't be able to tell you where Harley is, only the cage's last known location."

The women turned to Zatanna hearing her say this. Stopping beside Ivy, Zatanna gently pushed against Ivy's shoulder, hoping the gesture would establish that she came in peace and wanted to help and also, to provide Ivy emotional support. Gazing into her green eyes, Zatanna could clearly see that Ivy was crushed to learn that Harley was missing. Zatanna felt semi-responsible for the incident so she had no problem offering her services to Ivy.

"Really? You can do that."

Zatanna nodded.

"Yes Ivy. I can. I'm... sorry."

Zatanna made a quick show of glancing between all the faces staring at her.

"Everyone I'm so sorry. If I hadn't tried to channel my power, the cage would still be here. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Where I cast a spell and got hurt and then my spell suffered for it, I mean. My bad."

Ivy glanced down at the floor, remembering suddenly why Zatanna was in a weakened state. Lifting her hand, she placed it over Zatanna's who's palm was still resting against her shoulder.

"No. Zatanna. This is my fault. I hurt you, poisoned you with  _my_  power and forced you into a hibernation."

Ivy gently moved Zatanna's hand off her shoulder then went over to sit down on the couch.

"How could I be so careless?"

Ivy whispered to herself, not even bothering to fight the tears she felt spilling down her cheeks.

"And now she's gone."

Ivy stared past the women and off at nothing, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Lost, out there all alone without help. What if someone finds her? Someone evil, cruel and mean and kidnaps her? What if I never see her again? What if-"

Unable to finish, Ivy cried out unexpectedly. Leaning over, Ivy hugged herself, bowed her head and shut her eyes in despair as a soft sob fell from her lips. The expression on the women's face genuinely softened seeing Ivy look so broken and lost over what happened. They watched her in a sad silence before Catwoman was bold enough to walk over and sit down beside Ivy. She wrapped her arms around Ivy and pulled her closer. Ivy didn't care who saw or if they judged her for showing weakness. She openly threw herself at Catwoman latched onto the thief and sobbed harder, soaking Catwoman's neck with her tears. Livewire forgot about her frustration with Talia and went over to sit on the opposite side of Catwoman. She put her arms around Ivy too. She didn't know what say or what to do. What could she possibly say when Ivy was having an emotional breakdown over someone Livewire didn't really care for. Zatanna walked over and stood behind the couch. There, she reached down and petted Ivy on the head. She also lacked words but Zatanna had a feeling words wasn't what Ivy wanted to hear. Physical support was way more effective so Zatanna continued to stroke Ivy in places, such as her back side and the nape of her neck. Struck with inspiration, Wonder Woman tapped Black Canary on the shoulder, wanting to get her attention. Black Canary glanced away from the three women on the couch and at Wonder Woman and looked at her, questionably.

"Come on. I need to talk to you about something."

Nodding, Black Canary broke away from Talia and Supergirl and followed Wonder Woman into the kitchen. While they spoke quietly to one another, Supergirl turned to Talia and whispered behind her hand,

"So where exactly do you think the cage took Harley?"

Talia frowned and shook her head just enough to where you could see it.

"We won't know until Zatanna tracks it but if I had to guess? Far, far away from here."

"Far as in the borderline of Gotham City or-"

"No."

Talia shook her head.

"Far away as in, outside of Gotham City."

Talia crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes as a morbid thought crossed her mind.

"But... if my theory is wrong and Harley  _is_  still within Gotham City, then I hope Zatanna's cage didn't send her to where I think it did."

Supergirl arched an eyebrow. Scoffing lightly she prompted the older woman.

"Yeah? Like where are thinking it might have sent her?"

Talia frowned, jerked her head at the window, not really wanting to say the location out loud. Supergirl followed Talia's gaze then her eyes widened in shock when she put it together for herself.

"No... you don't think...?"

Talia shrugged.

"Like I said, we won't know until Zatanna tracks the cage but in all honestly, watch it be our luck that the cage took her  _there_ , of all places."

Supergirl and Talia went over to the window and busied themselves with the scenery below. They didn't have anything to offer to the group at the moment so watching the busy nightlife of the city pacified them until they and everyone else were beckoned over by Zatanna.

 

* * *

 

In the lowest level of an correction facility, baby Harley crawled down the hallways, passing several criminals in their holding cells. The super villains of Gotham City saw Harley crawl by their window and couldn't help but do a double take and go to the glass to stare at her. They were confused as to why Harley was a baby but had enough sense to know that the baby they were observing was in fact, Harley Quinn and not just your usual, typical baby of society.

"What the what?"

Two-Face muttered, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the happy, drooling Harley making her way down to the end of the hallway.

"Umnm, is this The Riddler's way of providing a decoy so we can bust out of here or is this just a horrible prank gone wrong?"

Scarecrow added, rubbing at his head, completely dumbfounded at what he was seeing.

" _Excuse me_. I resent that remark. I would not stoop so low as to turn Harley into a suckling babe, thank you!"

The Riddler barked from his cell, insulted that his former peers would assume such a thing.

"Well then who turned Quinn into a baby?"

Two-Face asked, looking across the threshold and into The Riddler's cell. The Riddler shrugged then glanced back at Harley.

"I don't know. But whoever did it, I'm curious to learn if they sent her here on purpose or if Harley herself just came her by herself."

Bane slowly raised his head and spared Harley a quick glance before adding his own twist on why Harley was a baby.

"Maybe Poison Ivy is losing her touch and thought she could re-train Harley to be a smarter, more effective criminal if she raised her from ground zero?"

More and more villains conversed softly with each other, for neither of them wanted to draw the attention of the guards. How Harley got past them, they didn't know but it was impressive she managed to make it down so far without getting caught. Eventually, Harley found the level she wanted and giggled when she found the thick, metal door that contained a certain man. Standing up on her hind legs, Harley patted her palms excitedly on the metal, creating a soft but firm pounding. She talked baby gibberish, wanting the inhabitant to hear her. The sinister laughter that filled her ears made her squeal and at the top of her lungs, she shouted a name that made the villain's eyes snap open in the dark of his cell.

"Pudd'n!"

A twisted grin formed on the white man's face. He leaned forward, not even bothered at the painful pressure his white jacket created. Standing up slowly, the gloomy prisoner crept towards the metal door. The second the tip of his shoes touched the base of the metal door, a sliver ring of keys were pushed under the gap and hit the soles of his shoes. Joker threw his head back and laughed. When his laughter high calmed down, he dropped his head and chuckled darkly, simply amazed at what Harley had done for him.

"Even as a baby, it doesn't stop you from helping me. Good girl Harley. Give Daddy a few minutes and I'll be out of here in jiffy."

Harley scooched back on her bum to give Joker space for when he opened the metal door. Fifthteen prolonged minutes later, the metal door slowly groaned opened and Joker stepped outside into the dim light of the hallway. He glanced down at Harley with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Ivy you're slipping bad to resort to cheap tricks like this but who am I kidding?"

Bending down, Joker gathered Harley up into his arms. She snuggled into his neck and patted him on his chest and said his nickname again.

"Pudd'n."

Joker nodded.

"Yes Harley. Your Pudd'n is here and now that I'm free and have you back, we're going to go have so much fun together."

Harley smiled big leaned out from the crook of Joker's neck and gave him a drooly kiss on his chin. Joker patted Harley on the head then looked straight ahead.

"But first things' first. We need to bust out of Arkum and get my boys together.  _Then_  we'll go play. Sound good?"

Harley's gentle laughter was music to Joker's ears. Joker was not a kind man or known to show affection to Harley outside of the bedroom. But with her as a baby, he understood he couldn't beat her or toss her around if he got mad or if she screwed up. He wasn't  _that_  inconsiderate. Joker didn't know why Harley had been turned into a baby but what he did know, he was going to take her with him and start up his tyranny in Gotham. If and when Ivy found him, he would make sure this time, he'd silence Ivy. Permanently, so she couldn't interfere with him, his plan or Harley every again.


	4. Episode 4: Boys Can Do It Too

"So what exactly are we going to do with her?! Joker said he went out to shop for supplies for a heist and on his way home would pick up some baby stuff but until then, what are we supposed to do?! "

Oneshot had to shout his words. Everyone present standing around in a circle near Harley did. Harley was screaming so loud, her wails rang throughout the warehouse and drowned out any hope of the villains hearing each other. If anyone dared to look at the cracked windows, the frames literally vibrated from the intensity behind Harley's crying.

"Like I should know! I've murdered children who didn't complain this much! We've tried everything to make her happy and she's like this!"

Deathstroke snapped back, giving Oneshot a bewildered look. Hands over his own ears, Riddler walked up to the unhappy child, uncovered his ears and attempted to comfort Harley.

"Maybe she just needs to be read a bedtime story? Kids like stories right?"

Killer Croc suggested, glancing desperately glancing between his friends and seeking a second opinion.

"At 9:00 A.M. in the morning?!"

The ouraged group of males exclaimed, making Killer Croc wince. No longer feeling confident, Killer Croc shied away from them and went to go sit down on crate while the others debated over what to do for Harley. Still in front of her, Riddler reached out and gently picked Harley up, who didn't look like she was going to stop crying anytime soon.

"She just won't stop crying. Is she hurt? Did she hit her head in the car ride over here or something?"

Riddler complained, turning Harley upside and holding her by her ankles on purpose. Within seconds, the white smeared make-up on Harley's face started to turn red. The men couldn't be sure if Harley was turning red because she was more upset for being strung up by her ankles or if it was the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Stop! Make! Baby! Angrier!"

The pale, zombie-like Solomon boomed, his voice ringing with surprising authority. Fearing Solomon might hit him, Riddler put Harley in the upright position but she threw her head back and cried harder. Riddler tried bouncing Harley from left to right and making cute noises but even this was rejected by her. She punched him in the eye and he reared back, stunned from the sharp pain. Luckily, Riddler knocked into Two-Face's broad chest and it cushioned his fall. Annoyed, Two-Face took hold of Riddler's shoulders, balanced him then with little effort shoved him off their chest before crossing their arms and glaring at the sobbing clown. Two-Face's split personalities agreed that calming Harley Quinn down and trying to keep her happy was one of the worst, painful forms of torture they as grown men could ever suffer. As Riddler cradled Harley close to his chest, she got choked on her own sobs and accidently made herself throw up. All over Riddler's suit. He cried out in alarm, and thrust her out in front of him and like a pansy, started to complain again about how much stolen money was wasted because Harley's vomit had soiled it. Mr. Freeze shook his head and frowned behind his chilled helmet then thrust his arm to the side in frustration.

"For the love of God, Riddler!  _Just put the baby down!_ "

Riddler rolled his eyes and sat Harley down in the middle of the floor and back stepped, resuming his stance from earlier.

"Pick her up, put her down! Which is it?!"

Ignoring Riddler's questions, Scarecrow went ahead and picked up Harley and sat her on the worn down couch near the crate Killer Croc was sitting on.

"Here!"

He growled through his razor sharp teeth.

"Turn her towards me."

Squatting down to Harley's level, Scarecrow put his hands over his eyes and said in not so kind or loving tone,

"Where's the baby?"

He paused for dramatic effect then suddenly uncovered his eyes and made a notorious face at Harley.

"There she is!"

So disgusted was Harley by the professor's twisted grin, she actually stopped crying for a moment and stared up at him, eyes wide, jaw wide open. Scarecrow took this as a sign of success so he did the same tactic again.

"Where's the baby?"

He paused, convinced he was doing everyone and Harley a favor by drawing out the silence.

"There she is!"

Harley had seen enough. She punched him in the face, just like she had to The Riddler. Scarecrow staggered back and cursed under his breath but no sooner after he did this, Deathstroke took both of his hands and shoved Scarecrow far away from Harley, suddenly feeling the need to protect her from his stupidity.

"Stop it man! You're scaring her!"

Scarecrow craned his neck and stared at Deathstroke, torn between laughing at the irony of the sharpshooter's words or taking a moment to remind Deathstroke that scaring people, was his speciality and what he was known for in the villian world. Just as Scarecrow opened his mouth to chastise Deathstroke, a loud growl from Harley's belly filled the atmosphere. Everyone, even Killer Croc who was observing on his crate, turned their heads and stared down at the sniffling child. Oneshot snapped a finger as it dawned on him why Harley was so upset.

"She's hungry. That explains it. Hey quick! Riddler give her some milk."

Insulted, Riddler pointed at himself while putting a sarcastic hand on his lean hip.

"Well I ain't exactly lactating right now good sir. She'll have to find milk somewhere else."

Oneshot face palmed.

"Not  _you_  Riddler."

Oneshot spared Harley a compassionate glance.

"The  _baby_. I didn't ask  _you_  to produce milk, I said  _get_  her milk."

"What?"

He huffed, face redding in anger.

"Why am I always getting stuck doing everything for Harley?"

Killer Croc slid off the crate, went over to Riddler, brought one hand down on Riddler's shoulder and before Riddler knew what was happening, Killer Croc whirled him around to face him.

"Because you were the one to convince Joker it would be vital to our health take the runt along, despite that he was already thinking to do that and we tried to tell him it was a bad idea. Because you said you wanted to study her as a subject and find out why she was like this. Because you're small and insignificant."

Killer Croc leaned down, putting him and Riddler nose-to-nose.

"Because I'll personally puvel you into dust if you don't."

Riddler felt himself break into a cold sweat and some tiny beads trickle down his temple. Grinning nervously he dared to ask,

"Any other reasons?"

Killer Croc's hazel eyes slit and his snarl was nothing shy of paralyzing Riddler with fear.

" _Now Edward!_ "

Grin still plastered on his face, Riddler slicked out from under Killer Croc's heated gaze and went over to the couch to sit beside Harley.

"And I will get her some milk. Just as soon as Joker comes back with the van and gives us some money."

"Steal. Money. Can. Not. Wait. Feed. Baby. Now."

Solomon grumbled, shaking his head in strong disagreement.

"Solomon is right. I say we go down to that local store we passed on the way up here, take Quinn with us and raid the place."

Two-Face offered, earning approval nods from everyone but one villian who had kept quiet ever since her escape from prison. Red Claw. She was lounging lazily on another couch off to the side and keeping a steady eye on the men and how they went about caring for Harley. So far, they had gotten puked on, punched in their faces and painfully had to work together to change a smelly diaper. To a woman by nature who is prone to maternal instinct, Red Claw didn't think it was hard, even from a spectator's point of view. Sighing, she sat up on the couch and tossed her long raven hair over on shoulder while running her fingers through the white-grey streak out of habit. She stood up and sauntered over to the group of men, forced her way through and instantly had their attention.

"Don't hurt yourselves boys. I'd hate to see you all get caught and sent off to Arkum after getting out so soon."

As if knowing they were going to retaliate, Red Claw waved her hand to the side, cutting them off from speaking to her. Content that they were going to remain silent, Red Claw gently gathered Harley up into her arms. She grinned and Harley watched her features soften and she was reminded of Ivy and the others the moment Red Claw did this. They would look at her that way as they sang to her or told her stories about themselves. Feeling strangely nostalgic for their company, Harley sniffed and showed signs of bursting into tears. The men lifted their hands and cowered, literally fearing that Harley was going to release another ear-piercing scream.

" _Shh_. It's okay little one."

Red Claw kissed Harley on the forehead, brushed her lips over the skin and shushed Harley's oncoming threat. Harley was nicely comforted by Red Claw's motherly gestures and as result, she calmed down and didn't cry. The men present blinked rapidly and stared after Red Claw with their jaws dropped in utter astonishment.

"Red Claw's got you and I'm going to give you a bath and feed you and rock you to sleep. Would you like that? Don't worry. I won't let these fools bother you anymore. No I won't. Because I'm going to protect you from their ignorance."

Red Claw didn't think holding Harley would make her so soft but there she was, walking away with Harley into a cozy office where there were some baby assorited supplies. At least Joker thought ahead of time and reasoned they'd need to pick up a few things on their way to the warehouse. What little was there, Red Claw was going to make use of and she refused to let Harley out of her sight and leave the blonde in the care of idiotic men who didn't know the first thing about caring for a baby. Shutting the office door behind her, Red Claw went over to the window and closed the blinds so the men couldn't see them and then went about tending to Harley'd needs. The giggling the villains heard come from Red Claw, to Harley's shrills of laughter was quite something to listen to. Who would have thought that Red Claw would be so good at being a mother to a child that wasn't even hers? Intrigued by their co-worker's sudden change in personality, all the menleaned in, squinted one eye and arched one eyebrow, still in awe of Red Claw's influence over Harley. No one dared to speak or break their pose until Scarecrow muttered,

"I think… we need to step up our game if we intend to impress Harley."

Nodding, they departed and each went about their own way in the warehouse. Some thought about how to approach the situation while others who managed to snag officer's smartphones, iPhones or tablets, activated the net browser and found a cozy place to settle down and do some research on parenting. They stayed like this, long after Joker came back from his outing and announced his arrival. By that time, Red Claw had emerged from the office and was napping quietly on the couch she claimed, on her back with Harley curled up on her chest. Red Claw had one arm protectively draped around Harley while the other was tucked comfortably behind her head. Joker saw this and didn't disturb them.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

Joker quietly called out to anyone who would answer him, taking into consideration that Harley was sleeping. Not getting so much as a grunt or a cough for a response, Joker He went off to find his friends. When he walked into a stockroom and found Riddler and Scarecrow on the left on tablets and Two-Face and Killer Croc on the right, all listening to audios from the internet on how to raise a baby from infancy to toddler, he dropped the bags he had carried. Blinking, Joker glanced between both sides and took in how ridiculously focused their expressions were and couldn't help but wonder if bringing Harley with him was a mistake after all. When a criminal mastermind finds his peers listening to other grown adults telling them how to change diapers, what to look for if there's an infection or listening to a group of people dressed in animal costumes singing children songs of happiness… something is seriously wrong.

 

* * *

_**Meanwhile in Gotham City...** _

* * *

 

"Well this sucks! Seven hours in and we still can't find the kid!"

Livewire exclaimed as she landed with the other superheroes who could fly in the middle of a park square by a water fountain, of all places. Supergirl turned to her and frowned.

"I don't know what you were expecting. It's Gotham City. It's not small, it's quite large so finding a baby isn't going to be exactly easy, Leslie."

Livewire crossed her arms and observed Wonder Woman setting Black Canary down who she had carried on her back while they searched the skies with Talia and Zatanna. Landing beside Supergirl, Talia straightened her collar, disappointed to see that Livewire and Supergirl hadn't found any trails either while Zatanna centered herself and made a show of glancing around the area.

"Yeah Kara. I know. It's just-"

At that precise moment, the ground shook and the area around the fountain fissured in half, allowing an opening in the earth. Livewire shut her mouth and saw a large dusty vine root spiral up into the clearing, revealing it's master on a big human sized leaf. Ivy wasn't wearing her usual black leather outfit with boots and gloves. Today she was wearing her green suit that was transparent on her arms and legs and seemed to emphasise the vine cords on her green skin. She slid off the leaf with ease and with a mere flick of her wrist, the giant root returned into the depths of the earth and the division Ivy had made in the ground, simply closed up.

"I've looked at the all the known locations I know she would go to and places I thought for sure she'd wander into. But she wasn't there."

Following this statement from Ivy, Catwoman fell down from a tree and the women immediately looked at her, hope on their faces.

"Well."

Catwoman sighed, straightening out her posture.

"None of my kitties have seen her."

Their hope was replaced with sadness and many shoulders slumped down in defeat. Lifting up a confident hand, Catwoman gestured at the trees behind her.

"But Bongo here says he saw some not so friendly faces going into a warehouse on the west side of the city, near the fish harbor. The timing adds up if you consider when we heard the news about Joker jail breaking out of Arkum. Granted I didn't see Joker through Bongo's eyes but it wouldn't surprise me if he was in that vehicle."

At the mention of his name, a young male lion came out from the shadows between the trees and his eyes glowed under the pale moonlight. He growled then snapped at the air, letting everyone know he was there and not in the mood to be challenged. Not even by his beloved master. The women knew Catwoman had a way with felines, just as Ivy did with plants. However, seeing a predator Bongo's size was jarring and they naturally took some steps back. Bongo obediently laid down beside Catwoman's feet, swishing his tail in agitation behind him.

"He chased them for several miles, never stopping until the black van he was tracking pulled into a sketchy warehouse. From what I could see, the driver wasn't human. Reminded me of Killer Croc, but everything happened so fast, I couldn't be sure but I don't know anyone else who wears a crocodile face, do you? I don't know if Harley is at this place but it's worth looking into, don't you think?"

"And if Harley isn't there?"

Wonder Woman asked, crossing her arms.

"Like I said. Some people we all have issues with went into that place. If Harley isn't with them, the most you guys can do is clean house."

Wonder Woman knew they were all in a truce agreement until Harley was found but she couldn't stop herself from ginning and pointing out the obvious.

"So does that mean after we beat up the bad guys, we finally let loose on you all too?"

Catwoman snapped a finger at Wonder Woman, not finding her pun cute.

"No. Not until Harley is safe and sound. We're friends with benefits, remember?"

Wonder Woman nodded then got a beep on her comset. Putting her back to the group, Wonder Woman walked off to the side to have some privacy to herself. The idea she suggested to Black Canary was to get Huntress and Question to secretly poke around the outskirts of Gotham City. Huntress wasn't part of the Justice League anymore but she tended to only mind Black Canary so when Wonder Woman called Black Canary into the kitchen at Ivy's apartment, she convinced Black Canary to see if she could get Huntress and Question to help them. Since Huntress owned Black Canary a favor, she agreed to search, despite her odd feelings whe hearing that her rival/strained friend was mixed up in something she wouldn't even touch. The other idea Wonder Woman thought to do, was get Aresia, Artemis and a dozen of her Amazon sisters to come to man's island and raid the darker sections of the city. At first, her mother was against it but being her mother's weakness, Hippolyta reluctantly agreed to allow her followers go to man's world and aid Wonder Woman. The one talking to her on the comset, was her beloved sister, Artemis. She didn't sound happy.

_"Diana you **do**  realize the only reason I agreed to do this is because Harley is a girl and deserves to be free of that idiot she calls her lover, right?"_

Wonder Woman pressed harder onto her ear so she could hear Artemis better.

"Yes and I'm glad you agree with Ivy in that way. Have you found anything?"

Artemis scoffed lightly.

_"No. But we did almost get run over by a black van that didn't seem to care that we were on the sidewalks. Some reptile looking man was driving it and honked at us, like we were in his way. Jerk. See, this is why I don't like men."_

Wonder Woman's eyes widened.

"Wait. What did you say?"

Artemis sighed noisily into her comset.

_"Surely you heard me the first time? I said we nearly got run over by a black van and-"_

"Thank you Artemis. Pull back. We can take it from here."

_"What? Are you sure? We haven't found your friend's partner yet."_

Wonder Woman shook her head.

"Mmm. It's all right. I think we have all the clues we need in order to find her."

Lowering her hand away from her ear, Wonder Woman turned around and went back over to share her information with the others. With Catwoman's intel plus what Wonder Woman's scouts stumbled across, Ivy didn't need any convincing.

"Come on. Let's go prune some limbs and find my Harley."

Ivy summoned another giant root up from the earth. The women tipped their heads back and watched her jump on it and look over her shoulder and down at them.

"What are you all waiting for?! Let's go!"

Ivy disappeared into the depths of the earth with her transportation vine and left the women to themselves.

"Wow. She's really not taking being separated from her well at all. We better get over there before Ivy murders whoever is inside..."

Black Canary muttered, walking around Wonder Woman. Knowing what she was about to do, Wonder Woman hunched down so Black Canary could hop on her back. Livewire glanced up at the powerlines then over at Supergirl.

"Hey Kara. Wanna race? We never did settle score from our last race a few years ago. Something about flying in the wind beats the speed of light?"

Supergirl grinned at the same time Livewire did and took the air but made sure to keep within hearing range of the others.

"Sure. I'll own you just like I did last time. Loser buys dinner?"

Livewire punched her fists together and created a large bolt of illuminating electricity.

"And has to give the winner a two hour shoulder massage! No exceptions."

Kara jerked her head in the direction of the area where the harbor was located.

"You're on! Try and keep up!"

Supergirl turned around in mid-air then took off at alarming speed. LIvewire shot her charged ball of electricity at the powerlines and created a arc of sparkling light and in blink of an eye, became one with it. She went into the powerlines and surged through each tower, feeling pretty confident she'd beat Supergirl. Amused at their child-like anticis, Zatanna decided to play too. Smiling warmly at the older women, Zatanna did a half bow and gestured at the air.

"Shall we race with them?"

Wonder Woman looked over her shoulder at Black Canary, seeking approval. Nodding, Black Canary gave her a thumbs up to indicate she didn't mind if Wonder Woman got a little air crazy and wanted to show off. Talia rolled her eye and acted like it was going to kill her to participate, but once she got in the air and allowed herself to enjoy the thrill of the hunt, she found herself grinning and using her power to make herself fly even faster. Catwoman glanced down at Bongo. He snorted through flared nostrils, saying through the body language he refused to carry his master. Chuckling, Catwoman petted him lovingly on the head.

"Aww. No worries big guy. I got this one."

Making her eyes glow, Catwoman summoned forth her special trait and turned into a purple cat with jade, glowing eyes. It wasn't the first time Bongo had seen his master do this and wouldn't be the last. Thinking she might need him for backup, he rushed off into the night with her and matched Catwoman's speed perfectly. The entire time the others raced, Ivy tore through the underground in the earth with Harley's smiling face burned into her mind.

_I'm coming Harl. Just… hand on. I'll find you and when I do, I swear I'll never let you out of sights again._

Fearing Harley was being mistreated by the band of criminals she suspected was with Joker only made the blood boil in Ivy's veins. Those men were filthy, underclassed, insensitive and for lack of a better word, too incompetent to take care of a baby. Ivy was convinced of this. Several miles away from where she was, those very men, minus the Joker, were happily playing with Harley the correct way that wouldn't get them in trouble with Red Claw. Deathstroke and Deadshot were juggling C4's and grenades, pretending to be professional jugglers. Riddler was sitting with Harley tucked in between his crossed legs, playing with her hands and making cute noises with his lips. Scarecrow sat beside Riddler on his right, reading a child's book in her right ear while Red Claw lazily observed the men from her spot on the couch. In the breakroom in the back of the warehouse, Two-Face and Mr. Freeze were boiling bottles over a mini stove with frilly aprons tied around their waists and preparing different types of meals. They hummed the very melodies they learned off educational apps online and much to their embarrassment would bob their heads and sway their hips to the beat of those songs. Solomon and Killer Croc went to the crafting area in the warehouse and sat at tables, put their ideas together and made Harley chewable, safe toys that they hand knit together for her. They pricked their hands many times and got frustrated with the patterns but didn't stop, as they wanted to do a good job and make Harley happy. Meanwhile, Joker sat in his office, glad to not be bothered with the responsibility of caring for Harley but at the same time, was still bothered that his team was taking the baby sitting to another level of weird.


End file.
